MIA

Not MUA. I've become a Mother In Action for all of you who have been wondering what has become of me. I still see a few of you on Facebook.

I moved to the DC metro area following a guy who was not "the" guy. I got a job at a little restaurant as a hostess. A guy from one of the bands that played there monthly happened to be hanging at the upstairs bar alone on his night off. I went up to have my shift drink. There was only one other couple up there that night so we all started talking. One thing lead to another and I found out he had recently broken off his engagement to someone else. After talking all night, I talked him into giving love a chance and getting back together with his fiance. Fast forward to a year later almost to the day, I'd seen the guy a couple times since then. He'd gotten back with his fiance and they'd broken it off again. She was moving back to Texas where he had moved from to pursue her out her in DC. We had been Facebook "friends" (more like acquaintances) since we'd met the year prior. I announced on my FB page that I was having a pool party on the 4th of July for all those with nothing else to do. So, band guy messaged me to ask if he could come and bring a friend or two. I welcomed him to bring instruments and other musicians. Indeed, he showed up in my back yard with musicians and instruments. We had a fun night. He followed me around like a puppy dog and I knew something was up.

Shortly after that he asked me out on a date. He sent flowers. After spending only a couple evenings out with him, I could tell he was different from anyone I'd ever dated. Of course he was nice looking, well spoken, thoughtful, insightful and generous, but more than that, I could just sense love pouring out of him. I'd never felt that before. There always seemed to be an agenda or a goal with other guys. We were all looking for a future in dating. This guy was just a sweet loving person who wanted to be loved by me in return. That was his big agenda. He was and has been so giving. 

We ended up conceiving our first child around 11-11-11. He was born in August of 2012. We finally got around to marriage last April but it was more of a formality by that point. The ceremony was a pain to pull together and in hindsight, I wish we'd made more of a secret of it. While family and friends seem like a good thing around such occasions, they actually have so many different ideas about it that their mere presence kind of dampens the sacredness of the occasion. I don't know how to explain it but for us, we were just expressing our commitment to one another publicly and spiritually. For others, it's a big step upward and forward that sort of diminished (at least in their minds) all we had been up to that point and put us in jeopardy of not being able to reach the step, with an "only time will tell" kind of vibe around it. I guess it's just different people's ideas about relationships. 

I did grow from the marriage experience. I learned that Monday after the Sunday we were married was no different which I highly suspected and that the relationship we'd been in all along was more than most people have after years of dating and marriage. It came in many ways very easy to us.

We are extremely close. As we continue to live together, parent together and care for each other, we learn more and more that we have it so easy. Beyond the love aspect that put me in this relationship, I had no idea (actually doubted) that we'd have so much in common. Our outlook of the world is so similar. We laugh a lot together.

I was funnier before I had kids. Now, most of the stuff that makes me laugh is not very original. It's all those same things that make every parent laugh. Toddlers are basically suicidal maniacs that like to make everything messy. I'm too tired to be clever these days. It may be in part due to the fact that I'm 36 weeks pregnant with our second child. Also, the hormones definitely shift after having kids making me a heck of a lot more sentimental. 

Anyway, with all this chaos going on I haven't checked in here much. I do get sent links to check out on here. That's about the only time I'm watching what y'all are doing. 

I'm not as missing in action as I am mothering but I'm writing again so I may be around more to get inspired by all you fellow creative types. Keep inspiring, keep creating and stay deviant. 
Karen